Who gets to be the man? ***The language of this piece is very binary on purpose. Because it’s poking holes in gendered conditioning that is largely binary. These “roles” were created by oppressive religious ideologies and white supremacy and enforced by colonialism. Not actually “how things have always been.” Gender and sexuality are individual and the degree to which people explore and develop within their own identity is often largely correlated with privilege. Link in bio.
Who gets to be the man? ... Which is frankly sad for everyone involved because the full range of pleasure for all parties results in the most pleasure for all parties. It leaves a lot on the table. And leaves a lot of women disconnected from sex or operating as though it’s an obligation, performance or favor. So if the question is- who is the point of sex? Who is centered all of the time? Link in bio.
Who gets to be the man? ... But as for the question I know is at the top of your list. Who gets the dick? The plainest answer I can give besides that that’s an incredibly invasive question, the likes of which you would not like directed at you... I want you to know that a woman can be properly fucked without one. And if you don’t know that, and you are a woman or have sex with them, I implore you to slow down enough to figure that out. And I tell you that generously because I want everyone to have the best time. Link in bio.
Who gets to be the man? No one gets to be the man. Even men. ... No one is always the boss, always holds the cards, always is centered, always the expert. Always the ego that is carefully catered to instead of just getting shit done. Everybody matters. Link in bio.
Who gets to be the man? ...One is the very real question of who has the dick? Because we cannot for a moment fathom what even the point of sex would be if there isn’t at least a metaphorical dick involved. Heteronormative narratives about sex are so centered around the penis (and frankly boring given all the options with bodies) that we can’t imagine what two people with vulvas would even do with themselves. Even though in heteronormative narratives about sex there is always a vulva present, as well as all the other body parts, nerve endings and erogenous zones a person has. We just remove her body from the equation. Or see her as holes for dicks. A sheath for a sword, the etymology of vagina. Link in bio.
“Who gets to be the man?” Nobody gets to be the man. Not even men. The job is boss. It’s decider, determiner, it is who is centered at every turn. Catered to, credited, believed, expert. It’s top. People in queer relationships are often asked this. (Don’t). And it’s worth dissecting. What do you mean? Link in bio
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“A slew of you only respond to images with some amount of skin showing. You, too, are like clockwork.” Link in bio. #keyedup
“I don’t want to fight. I will, though, about lines, and who draws them for someone else.” Link in bio. #keyedup
“Especially when it comes to talking, offering expertise they seemed to believe on a visceral level was their birthright, they didn’t get it.” Link in bio #keyedup