Momentarily Lost for a Lifetime

By Roxie


This life of mine is related

Through knick-knack and song

Titles on the spines; cast in varying print and lined in descending order

Ceramic animals caught in posed accents on a shelf

These are things; but they are beacons

Pulsing through the midst; calling my wandering self

I need these seemingly benign things

For some days, this world can be distant and unfamiliar

Some days, I am lost

I wake from the vastness of my mind and don’t know which way to turn

The comforts of creatures are familial like amber faded photos

True through the definition of stories and distant as the deceased

My muscle memory suggests routine yet I sit still

Unable to confidently decipher complacency from security

A swath of pleasure in the paralysis; I purposefully gage the weight before entering

I know this life; it is a good life

But I cannot be sure that it is mine

Perpetual skepticism

A necessary, voluntary amnesia

I need this; the sensation of definition; the eagerness of a blank page

Awaiting my mark; a singular charcoal line to ignite the branches of being

I lose myself because I need to know

I need to clear a path to recognition

I wander my mind shedding the world like the veils of Salome

Un-tethered, lost and free

When I wake. Blank.

I listen. I feel. Then I look.

I hear light notes and sprinkling water; my seed sings in her morning shower

I smile to myself; I made that and my pride is overwhelming

My eyes focus; the blinds cascade lines of sunshine

Underscoring the menagerie of memories adorning my walls and room

Posters, drawings, yesterday’s clothes, post-it notes and laundry needing a home

This is my life

I went to that show; I wore that shirt; I framed that art and tasked myself in writing

I recognize myself and I breath a new day

A knick-knack and a song; A curated reflection of me

I have surrounded myself with myself for I am my own best navigator

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Roxie

ponders from a tenured state of flux and writes as compulsion; a deeply satisfying and necessary exorcism of random and floating free- form perspectives. She has stationed herself in Lawrence, Kansas as a mother, partner, friend, mentor and novelty-seeker with a passion for authentic conversations over handmade food, high-intensity physical activity resulting in equally high levels of sweet-sweet sweat, and creatively conjuring her next inspiration.