The Tea with Teddy

Highlights from this week in pop-culture news. 

By Teddy Van Ness

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-Kylie Jenner’s empire is now worth over $900 million. If you need me, I'll be over here “realizing stuff and things” cuz apparently that works.  

-Justin Bieber got engaged to Hailey Baldwin (the daughter of the most annoying Baldwin, Stephen). Best belieb this ain’t gonna last!  

-RuPaul’s Drag Race season 10 is over and crowned Aquaria as the Queen. She definitely deserved it but I am very upset because I have no idea what I will do with my life now! In other Ru news, he just signed a deal for a daytime talk show. Werk, bish!  

-Ariana Grande released a video for her single “God is a Woman” and it features a voice-over by my personal queen, Madonna. Sounds like it would be great, right? WRONG! Screaming gophers and Ariana just being Ariana — aka looking like an oversexualized 12-year-old — is not my thing. I realize I will have to return my gay card for saying that. And don't even get me started on her brother.  

-The fx show Pose has been renewed for a second season, and if you aren’t watching this dragtastic show, you should be! It has the largest recurring cast of LGBT actors in television history and recently made HERstory by having the first transgender woman to write and direct an episode of TV. This show will make you laugh, cry (happy and sad tears), dance and give you LIFE!  

-Cardi B gave birth to her daughter, Kulture Kiari Cephus. Wow, now that's a name, okurrr?! 

-Comedy Central is going to air a roast of Bruce Willis, and Demi Moore is the special surprise guest. Best line: “I look at our marriage like The Sixth Sense...you were dead the whole time.” Burn. Yes, Demi!  

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Top 5 songs I’m Obsessed with Right Now

1. Cupcakke: “Crayons” 

If you aren't familiar with Cupcakke yet she is basically today's Lil Kim, raunchy and no fucks given. This song in particular should be a gay anthem for years to cum. Best lyric: “Fuck a tuxedo, tuck your dick mijo, transgenders are people, so I'm a treat ’em equal!” 

2. Xtina Aquilera feat. Ty Dolla $ign and 2 Chainz: “Accelerate” 

My girl Xtina is finally back after a 6-year break between albums, and she is bringing it with this Kanye West–produced jam. It takes a few listens to really get into it but once you get past Ty Dolla $ign sounding like he’s dying from emphysema, this song will be stuck in your head for days in a very good way. Welcome back, Queen!  

3. Lily Allen feat. Giggs: “Trigger Bang” 

Another one of my favorites is back with a new album, and delivering her honest and most personal lyrics to date. This song deals with her struggles with drugs, getting away from people and situations that aren't good for you, and it's catchy as hell! Her entire album is very raw and worth checking out.  

4. Kacey Musgraves: “High Horse”  

Disco country? Yes! Sounds like such an odd combination but Kacey Musgraves nails it with this song! Kacey has been a supporter of the LGBT community since day one of her career (see “Follow Your Arrow”) and has won over a whole new audience with this ditty. Be sure to checkout the video for this song, too. She is bringing all kinds of Cher ’70s disco diva realness. Flawless.  

5. All Saints: “Glorious” 

Yes, you read that right, All Saints. The British girl group from the late ’90s that had us all singing along to “Never Ever” is still around and back with a new album. This is one of my new workout jams, so inspiring and just a great anthem. I imagine it playing at the end of my Lifetime original movie. 

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Teddy Van Ness

 

is a connoisseur of all things pop culture. Whether it be pop music, fashion, celebrity gossip, etc., the value of pop culture is undeniable and is a way to see where we are currently as a society. Born and raised in Lawrence, Kansas, Teddy discovered early on that he was different from other kids. While most children were begging for toys, he was begging for CD's. He wanted ALL of the music and is still very much like this today, only a little pickier. Madonna was then and still is his all-time favorite artist. Listening to her music and watching her perform helped him discover a self-assurance and love for himself that most are still searching for. Most importantly, though,  through her he learned that it was OK to be gay, and for that he will be forever grateful. A few of his other interests are dancing, watching The Golden Girls, and his two tuxedo cats, Fancy (named after the Reba song) and Liberace. He currently resides in Kansas City, Missouri, and is plotting his next move.